Family

What does the idea of family communicate to you? Is there some realization of it that is normal to you? This question has grown in my own mind and such thought parrallels the general struggle of culture in general. Many people invest deep emotions into various definitions of family and television has made millions from shows that seek to reframe the family concept. But let me challenge your personal thoughts with a basic idea. Does how we meet people set the stage for unconsciously judging their life or family?

Let me explain. We usually operate our life and interactions based upon our own normal. Words and phrases demonstrate our presuppositions. One example is the phrase "starting a family." This phrase is most often used when a young couple becomes pregnant. Does that mean that their family was incomplete until that point? Of course not. However, our terminology suggests that concept. But there is even a more basic step we can take to help us open our hearts to more people

I have begun to travel quite a bit and meet many new people on a regular basis. I have come to expect that one of the first questions I will be asked in a church setting is: "Do you have kids?" Most people mean well but fail to grasp the impact of their question. I struggled with that question often and became frustrated with the repetitive nature of the question. But then I came to realize that I do the same thing myself. I ask questions like, "What do you do for a living?" or "Where do you live?" Both questions assume details about people that I cannot assume. During one conversation with a young man, I realized that my question about a job was a source of frustration to himself. Our normal greeting questions in life tend to be slanted toward assumptions. A book my wife and I are reading together offered the following question as an alternative. "Tell me about yourself." Simple. Unassuming. The idea allows a person to share what they are comfortable sharing and opens safe pathways for conversation. I myself am going to attempt this more in the future.