Mornings

The dawn breaks the stagnant darkness and stirs to life my slumber. Feet escape their prone position as a deer entering a forest clearing. I tread lightly across the hall, avoiding the landmines of loose screws. My destination in sight, I move into place to peer over the edge of the subject's sleeping quarters. She moves and snorts and steals my heart. The day is young and still so quiet but happiness has just begun.

The Lure of the Exceptional

Recently, my life course was altered by the arrival of my first child. My daily learning curve has increased dramatically while stress and worry equally increase. Indeed, I have begun to recognize a temptation of my heart that lurks nearby in most every area of my life. That deceptive enemy is my own desire to be exceptional. In the past, the outflow was most frequently my own performance and achievements. I could be tempted to strive each day for my own success to be noted and admired in some way. The arrival of a child has complicated that desire. I found out that my child's progress both physically and mentally is measured, calculated and charted on a regular basis. Even the measurement standard (the canon as it were) is based upon averages and comparison to other people. Now I can be drawn into a regular consideration of my daughter as an extension of my own achievements in contrast to other people's children. No doubt this temptation will linger into school and athletic performances down the road. Why is it so easy to measure so much of life by the off kilter perspective of the rest of the world? Why can't I daily align my every action against how it pleases a singular God? That measurement would be so much easier. The problem is the gratification delay. The feeling I get by besting some other person or group of people is an immediate sense of worth. Pleasing God is not as immediately satisfying to my fickle flesh. This is why the Bible so frequently encourages walking in the spirit and not the flesh. Such will be the daily challenge till I die. I thank my daughter for coming to help illuminate the height of the struggle.